|Yep that’s me. One of these days I might spring for a professional photo.|
Being a parent in general is a balancing act. Being a single parent includes juggling, tight rope walking and a few other feats of skill that I am still learning. I am not going it totally alone, friends and family are very supportive in so many ways. However, there are still plenty of things that it is totally up to me to handle.
Parenting can be overwhelming when there are two of you. Parenting on your own is OMG overwhelming on a good day. Learning to parent on your own half way through the whole dragging them up process, well I will tell you where that fits when I am done dragging up my heathens.
I am lucky that I have two wonderful, beautiful children with big hearts, lots of smarts and good sense of humor. Ok, the teenager doesn’t always have a good sense of humor. She will again one day but right now she is a space alien. Little man is well, a boy, 101%.
One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is to say no. Yes, seriously, it is something you learn all over again when you are suddenly thrown into single parenthood. You want to spoil them, say yes and give them everything in hopes that it takes some of the pain away. It doesn’t really and it sets their expectations very high and spoils them in a not so good way.
Other things that I have learned have been, that boys still do need some male figure around. Especially when one little boy has a mom and a sister and even a female dog. Apparently estrogen levels get a bit too high around here for him. So having Papa and Uncle Norm around offsets a lot of that. Though Aunt Cindy and cousin Khloe don’t fall into that estrogen category.
Teenage girls are just plain weird and I am fairly certain that would hold true no matter how you parent. However, they need a special family member other than mom to rant and rave about mom to. Aunts work wonders, Uncles from time to time do as well.
In short, mom can’t be all things to the kids. Outside help and support is mandatory, even if you think you can go it alone. This rule goes for mom as well. Remember to take some time for yourself. If you don’t you start talking like one of the kids and whining like them as well. Find some other grown ups to talk to and have some fun with.
As for the financial aspect of it, some times we just have to pick up that second job, preferably part time. Kids are expensive and so is our free pubic education system. At any rate, I am working on balancing my time, finding time for one on one with the kids. Finding time to do things as a family. Finding time for me to have some me time as well.
I may not be writing as much for the next little bit we have a really busy fall/winter season coming up. Birthdays, our first holidays without Jay, getting the garden plot turned, scouting and other activities. We are just plain busy. I am also learning to sleep again, except on days when I work night shift. So my online time is going to be limited to a few snippets here and there. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to share, doesn’t mean I don’t love my readers. I am just not going to have a lot of time to write here.
On that note, let me stoke the fire, toss on another log and head off to bed.
Light, Love and Peace!