Well, we celebrated spring yesterday with baskets of chocolate and kite flying. The kite flying was ok, not quite enough wind but we still had a blast. Ok except for when DS’s got caught in two different trees. The first time a neighbor rescued it with his ladder and a long pipe and the second time I was able to get it out on my own. It does stink to be short! Then we went to the park. The fasicnation was soon over in light of the playground equipment and other kids playing. We watched some RC car enthusiasts race their cars over the track that was there. This caught DS’s attention for a bit. DD went egg hunting with some friends while DS played with his best bud. DH and I enjoyed some time together.
The day before while I was doing grocery shopping and gathering basket stuff, most call it Easter we just decided it was a good day to celebrate spring. I spent time listening to parents attempt to out do each other on “Easter presents”. I am still not sure when this tradition started. I also spent time listening to how parents were interacting with their children. It was not that long ago that I was all about controlling their every moment, movement, etc. While I had gone out by myself I am also quite confident that I wouldn’t have had half the problems the other parents were having. Having allowed myself to trust them and their instincts and let them make their own choices has done quite a bit to change their behavior and mine. The temptation to run around, grabbing stuff and generally trying to catch my attention has stopped, for the most part. Simply because they have my full attention now. Simply because if something catches their eye in the store, any store, I am willing to stop what I am doing to see what it is.
Well it wasn’t and isn’t simple. Baby steps for changes. I did enough shockingly big changes in the beginning that everything else is taking baby steps. But we are more relaxed, enjoying each other’s company and life in general.
We still have some rough days. This evening for example, my daughter had a meltdown. Getting to the root cause of the meltdown took some time. Apparently because we had not had our mommy/claire time as we normally do, she was feeling out of sorts. This happened for a number of reasons. Once she had calmed down and realized that she wasn’t going to get yelled at by anyone for her meltdown and that we actually worked to make sure her little brother didn’t interrupt the time and support she asked for, she was able to tell me what was really wrong. Meltdowns and tantrums are symptoms of sometimes a larger problem. At least a larger problem in the view of a child. I had let her down, broke a trust. I am very happy that she allowed me to sit with her while she got her emotions under control so that she could explain to me what was really bothering her. In the past I would have just yelled at her to get over herself and sent her to her room as a punishment. Patience and understanding on my part made it more of a recovery than a punishment.
So we have planned some activities for tomorrow to do just us girls. She shared some things from her shows, books and writings with me. There were some concepts that were a little mature for her that she did not understand so we talked about them and she understands them now. It did lead to a discussion of sexuality which caused some giggling but did lead to a better understanding. Apparently one of the anime movies she was watching had some explicit scenes in it and she wanted to know if they were normal and have a few other related things explained. But the important part is that she felt she trusted me enough to ask the questions and that she was comfortable enough to listen to the explanations.
Balloons! Well momma had the bright idea of including little packages of water balloons in the spring baskets. I should have looked at the weather to see if we could use them right away. Patience is not a virtue of a 4 yr old boy and well really not of a 10 yr old little girl either. So they have been blowing up the balloons and using sissy’s hair to create static electricity and stick them all over the house. It is lovely to step out of a room and not know that you are going to step on one of these colorful items and have it pop.
Well, it has actually taken me two days to write this post, I slipped in here to just quickly finish it up and all, so here goes. It may or may not make sense. LOL Oh well!
Light and Love!