Socialization!! Why is everyone so worried about it?

One of my dad’s biggest concerns is that our kids will not get enough or proper socialization. When asked to explain his definition, basically be exposed to mean kids who have no self respect therefore they do not respect others. Well why would I want to make sure some one hurt my kids’ feelings to make them grow up strong?

Well no worries on that count because adults and children like that are around us everywhere. My kids have had some problems with a couple of neighborhood bullies. These are older kids and of course they target the 4 yr old first and when 10 yr old sticks up they attack her as well. What was bad this evening is that 10 yr old’s girlfriend turned on her as well to run with the crowd. All over a butterfly net and some water guns (by the way these belonged to my kids who are willing to share and take turns with their friends).

First it was some kids coming over and taking off with the butterfly net because they were allowed to use it the other day. Not a problem, please ask first next time and I am sorry but Morgan wants to use his net right now so could we have it back. But we were trying to catch frogs with it. Well, your turn is over and the owner wants it back, might be different if you had asked first. They sulked off pouting because I didn’t give in to their demands but was babying the baby.

Then they road their bikes around the corner and were standing in our drive way where DS was shooting his water gun waiting for butterflies to show up or something else he thought he could catch. The shout of hey watch it and quit shooting me with the water gun came out. Again momma bear steps up and says well, first of all, again he is 4 yrs old. Secondly, it his driveway and if you don’t like what he is doing you can move or leave. But he isn’t doing anything wrong. Well, they went home to their parents, the parents apparently discussed things and one of the kids’ dad was appointed spokesman.

Of course we are the crazy freaky homeschooling family who is letting their children run wild. Uummm..yeah ok. My fairly docile, fun loving kids who have sweet dispositions and respect for themselves, other people, etc. I shouldn’t be so mean to their kids. I need to teach my kids not to bother kids when they say stop even if they are at their own home and not in someone else’s yard. Well, hhmm..excuse me but you can’t dictate to me or my kids especially when they are in the sanctity of their own home or yard. Secondly, I am rather tired of the 4 yr old getting picked on by the bigger kids. So I am the over protective mom who won’t let her kids toughen up for the real world. Some words were exchanged and the gentleman was asked to leave to continue to raise his children his way and me mine. And to inform the other parent, a mom, and any others that they are welcome to come and talk to me themselves if they feel the need however, as long as things happen in my yard I have final say so on that. Good Day.

Momma sat outside and played water guns with her littles. We had a blast. I had to go in to take care of a few things for dinner as tummies were getting grumbly. Not 5 mins later the kids from the neighborhood were back, borrowing our water guns without asking and then yelling at the 4 yr old for squirting. Well they were across the street. So I said to come home to play guns. The local teenage “bad boy” or at least so he thinks and his girlfriend were involved. He threatened to break all the water guns if he got squirted again. He took the 4 yr old’s gun and through it, his “girlfriend” had one and was squirting him. 4 yr old hit him. Not the response I would hope for but after all what can a 4 yr old do against a kid 10 yrs older and 3 times his size. Well, I called for all of our things to be brought home. The girlfriend “I didn’t do nothing.” HHmmm..public school grammar, I love it. Well, yes you did honey you through the gun down (cheap walmart $1 guns they break easily but still a ton of fun). You took the gun without asking, etc. Parents of the older boy pull up, now his little brother is welcome any time, sweet as sugar. I informed them of what happened and basically was told to teach my 4 yr old some respect. Ok whatever, I am not looking to fight with the neighbors, I just want my kids to feel and be safe and their things to be left alone unless they choose to share.

Well, DD is very hurt because hanging out with the older girl is her friend who had become snotty, I personally think true colors showing through. She stood up to the older kids and was ready to defend her “baby bro”. Her language a bit colorful but she did come to me herself and tell me what she did and said. Out loud I said it’s ok you were right. I whispered it was the right time and place for her actions, though I am glad she did not get involved in an actual fight, but most importantly I was so proud of her and thankful that she told me what happened. She didn’t want the other girls giving their version which goddess only knows what that would have been. Her friend was “pissed off” because earlier in the day DD had been involved in a project and didn’t want to come out to play though it was demanded of her. Apparently something was said about what a nerd she is and the name of lame loser was tossed about because she found studying to be more important. Well hhmmm..this is the same little girl whose mother and herself are so proud of the fact she has been in school since 3 yrs old.

But this is the type of school yard socialization everyone thinks kids need. Apparently they don’t have to go to school to get it. The kids are fine, none the worse for wear and will be playing with the “nicer” kids at the opposite end of the street when they feel like playing with anyone at all. I am happy to know that DD who felt like she had to belong and all that peer pressure crap has realized that she is happier just being her and doesn’t feel the need to be like everyone else. We let go of so many control factors in their lives and their real spirits shine through. It is coming in fits and spurts, we are rebuilding trust with our kids, especially DD but unschooling so much better our lives (I sound like a broken record here but I am still so amazed) are so much happier and fulfilling that we are embracing more and more of this lifestyle everyday!

Well this post took most of the last 12 hours to write and it’s payday run around day for us. So I am off to grab a shower while it is still quiet. Our local farmer’s market opened this week so we will be grocery shopping there for a lot of our needs and hopefully meeting some cool people.

Light and Love!!!

5 thoughts on “Socialization!! Why is everyone so worried about it?

  1. Well as homeschoolers we will always be branded as "weird". My dd also gets plenty of that public school "socialization" in our neighborhood. No need to send them to school for that! I think the reason PS kids act so unmannerly and untrained is because they are never around their parents and of course the PS system does not think character is a necessary subject. Good Luck!

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  2. That's just bonkers! We've got a couple of great homeschooling families in our neighborhood and a nice little house for sale right across the street. Ready to pull up stakes and move to the Great Frozen Midwest? 🙂 We'd love to have you here!

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  3. I totally agree, PS kids aren't around their parents enough. We had issues beginning with my daughter when she was in PS and now that we have her home those things are going away.As for the Midwest, I asked my hubby (chicago native) and he said no thank you. LOL The city boy is all country and southern like these days. I would love to find a homeschool neighborhood. We know where the majority here congregate and we hope in the next couple of years to buy land out that way and be normal. LOL

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  4. We unschooled our now 14 yr. old son when we took him out of public school in the fourth grade. We still do a lot of unschooling with him but do have him do work in some areas we know he will need in the future. He is much more receptive to it now than he would have been then though. Our daughter has always wanted to do "school work" but has never been in public school and boy are we glad. We are so glad we started the homeschooling journey even though when we started we hadn't had any experience with homeschooling and didn't know anybody that did. Also, we are definitely in control of who our kids hang around which is a huge plus.Donna

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  5. Donna,I will say we were scared that we were screwing up our kids. Our daughter was supposed to start the 4th grade this year. However, pulling her from school and deciding that our 4 yr old will not attend PS has been the most liberating and enjoyable experience. From time to time my daughter feels the need to do workbooks and such so we have them available for her. Our son well he is busy playing and learning about the world around him. We leave their friend choices up to them and they have plenty of them. I think my daughter enjoys the physical nearness of our neighbors but there are plenty of them for her to hang out with as there are for my son as well. Not to mention all our local homeschool friends. I was really just surprised at how these other kids acted and then their parents. I called and talked to my dad and he was appalled. He didn't realize that the kids had gotten so much meaner. It has been a good 10 yrs since he had any dealings with PS kids and my brothers were lucky to have very good friends.

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